Understanding emotional regulation

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Emotional regulation refers to a child’s ability to understand, express and manage their feelings in a healthy way.
It’s not something children are born knowing — it develops gradually with support, modelling and safety.

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Children who struggle with emotional regulation may:

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• Become overwhelmed quickly
• Have big emotional reactions to small triggers
• Find transitions challenging
• Withdraw, shut down or seek control

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There is nothing “wrong” with these responses — they are signals that your child needs support, connection and co-regulation.

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Why emotional regulation is hard for some children

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A child’s ability to regulate emotions can be influenced by:

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• Sensory processing differences
• Communication challenges
• Anxiety or uncertainty
• Learning differences
• Unexpected changes or transitions
• Fatigue, hunger or overstimulation

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When we understand the “why”, we can respond more compassionately.

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Simple strategies for supporting emotional regulation at home

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1. Co-regulate first

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Children borrow our calm. Sitting close, using a soft voice or offering a grounding touch helps their nervous system settle.

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2. Validate feelings

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Validation doesn’t mean you agree — it means you understand.

“You’re feeling frustrated because the game ended. I’m here.”

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3. Reduce demands during overwhelm

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Pause instructions, step back and allow time for your child to return to a regulated state.

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4. Use visual supports

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Visual timers, calm-down charts and routine boards help reduce cognitive load.

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5. Build predictability

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Clear routines and gentle transitions support emotional safety.

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6. Offer sensory strategies

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Deep pressure, movement breaks, slow swinging or quiet spaces can support regulation.

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Emotional regulation grows over time

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Children aren’t expected to “get it right” every time — and neither are adults.
The goal isn’t perfect behaviour, but growing awareness, safety and connection.

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If your child regularly finds emotions overwhelming, an occupational therapist or psychologist can help identify what’s getting in the way and how to support them.

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