What is emotional regulation?

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Emotional regulation is a child’s ability to recognise their feelings, respond to them in a safe way, and return to a calmer state when things become overwhelming.

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Children aren’t born with this skill — they learn it gradually through co-regulation, connection and predictable support from the adults in their world.

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Why big emotions happen

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Big feelings can show up for many different reasons:

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• Sensitive nervous systems
• Transitions, unpredictability or sensory overload
• Fatigue, hunger or changes in routine
• Difficulty understanding expectations
• Social or communication challenges

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These reactions aren’t “misbehaviour” — they’re signals that a child needs help, safety and connection.

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Signs your child may need support with emotional regulation

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You might notice:

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• Frequent meltdowns after busy days
• Difficulty calming down without adult support
• Avoidance of situations that feel overwhelming
• Quick shifts from calm to upset
• Challenges with waiting, sharing or problem-solving

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Gentle strategies to support regulation

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• Model calm — slow breathing, soft voice, low movement
• Co-regulate first — connection before correction
• Use clear, simple language — “You’re safe. I’m here. We’ll get through this together.”
• Offer sensory tools — weighted items, fidgets, movement breaks
• Create predictable routines
• Practise emotional naming — “Your body looks frustrated; let’s take a break together.”

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When emotional regulation becomes overwhelming

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If big feelings are frequent, intense or impacting daily life, occupational therapy or psychology support can help explore:

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• Sensory triggers
• Emotional development
• Anxiety or stress responses
• Co-regulation strategies for home and school

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You’re not alone

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Supporting a child with big feelings can be exhausting — and you’re doing an incredible job.

If you’d like guidance, strategies or assessment, our team at All Things Therapy is here to help.

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